just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can text with my tongue
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
