guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize