Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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