she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
