R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
