Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
