hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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