brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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