I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you had me at cake vodka
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
