i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
