Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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