Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
