We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
