need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
