my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
