it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
