just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
