i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
