at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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