yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
