Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
