your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
