My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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