my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Fuck appropriateness.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
