Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
