he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
