then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
