i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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