Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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