About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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