All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
