this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
