Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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