I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Randomize
