Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
