I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You pole danced in your parka.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
