All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
