I CAN MOONWALK!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
