it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
