Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Still dying that you shit outside
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
