So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
