Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
