I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
