If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
