Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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