Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
