Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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