I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she smelled like a LAN party
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize