Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
