i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
