Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
