im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
