The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
