I must be too annoying 4 u.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize